3 Steps To Creating Constructive Comments

How Can I Give Honest Comments When Asked?

You have often heard it said about certain people that they are painfully honest. Or that if you don’t want to hear the truth, then don’t ask them a question, or don’t ask for their opinion of you. There are times when I am sure that you and I wish that we were just a little bit more like them, and could offer up our transparent thoughts and comments  and ‘tell it like it is’.

Just before we do that, and suffer the consequences, there is a method that you can use that gives you a means to convey your base thoughts and comments, while still preserving the peace and leaving relationships undamaged. It is perilously easy to damage relationships by voicing our feelings or perceptions without taking these three steps. In contrast, by using these three steps, you can enrich and build a relationship in a powerful, supportive, positive way.


Creating Constructive Comments

1. Obtaining Permission To Make Comments

creating constructive commentsJust before opening up with both barrels or engaging the mouth, take the time to ask if you may have permission to offer your frank and candid comments. This is a critical step and one that cannot be skipped over.  If you are given permission, (even if it is tacit, ie, a comment box), then proceed to following the next two steps.

If you are not given permission, then you have to decide if you want to continue to offer your opinion or not. Just consider that the information that you pass along may not be well received if it is received at all.

2. Choose The Wording Of Your Comments Carefully

Your words should cause an emotional response. They should be direct, but without blame or malice attached to them.

Simply state how you perceive things, or how you felt when such and such happened or when you read this or that. By not attaching people to actions or words, you are not offering up a personal attack, but instead are offering an authentic and accurate account of your point of view. It isn’t right, isn’t wrong, it just is.

3. Sandwich The Negative Comments Wherever Possible

When you start with positive feedback, you are far more likely to have your message and comments heard by the other party. Humans don’t like to hear negative things about their words and actions, and a direct attack is seldom effective. positive feedbackSurely you can find a positive thought to start your comment with, then the negative (or less popular comments), followed by another positive statement that takes some of the sting out of your earlier words without diminishing their value. Not only does this lessen the likelihood of your comments being rejected, it also ensures that you have a two to one ratio of positive to negative comments.

I invite all of you who are reading to try out a few comments like that today and see how effective this method really is. I’m sure you will be pleasantly surprised and if you’re like me, you will learn something in the process.

Let me know how you make out…


Till Next Time

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Sigrid McNab

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About Sigrid McNab

Sigrid McNab is the author of #1 Amazon Best Seller, speaker and the CEO and Founder of sigridmcnab.com. Sigrid specializes in blogging, attraction marketing, and generating highly qualified leads. Sigrid teaches people how to build a successful online business.

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2 Responses to “3 Steps To Creating Constructive Comments”

  1. Ryan Biddulph Says:

    This one works SO well Sigrid…

    “I like the look of your blog, I might do blah blah blah…”

    Lead off with something positive and constructive then say what you might do….rather than telling or ordering someone to do something. So much easier on folks, who rarely resist good advice when offered in the “I might do things this way.”

    You can be honest, truthful and direct while still being super nice, and the happiest people have mastered this art.

    Thanks Sigrid!
    Ryan Biddulph recently posted…How Can You Write for Both Quality and Quantity?My Profile


    Sigrid McNab Reply:

    And you, Ryan, are a great example of this!
    Sigrid McNab recently posted…A Winner Never Quits and A Quitter Never WinsMy Profile



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