7 Business Tips You will Never See Printed

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7 Business Tips You will Never See Printed

 

1. Eliminate The Business Competition

 

Seems simple doesn’t it? And it is. The sad reality is that it only works for a little while and only under extreme circumstances. Supply management didn’t work well in most of the communist countries once the gulags were no longer an option, but has worked moderately well for some of the crime cartels and families. Be prepared for some negative press though.

 

2. Make Your Business Products Addictive

Sure, I know this has been tried before in business. The original Coke once contained the real coke, (as opposed to the ‘real thing’ which has zero cocaine in it) and tobacco products had a long popular run until the obvious health risks began to weigh heavily upon even the lobby sensitive government. Rumours have persisted about the addictive qualities of Tim Horton’s coffee, numerous soft drinks and wonder bread but reality suggests otherwise. On the other hand, I am convinced my truck is addicted to diesel.

 

3. Force People To Buy Your Business Products

This will work, but as with some other suggestions its best to use this type of business marketing on a captive audience or better yet, a captive population. They don’t have a lot of choice, either they buy your food and water or they perish.  Very effective marketing tool. But expect some initial resistance and some long-term buyer’s remorse. You can’t please all the people all the time, nor should you.

 

4. Make It Illegal To Not Own Your Business Products

At first blush this may seem a real challenge especially in a democratic county. But not everywhere is such a huge fan of the free vote.  True, this approach won’t work well even in the banana republics, but it will still has a place with small island nations. (hint: buy your own island). 

 

5. Give It Away For Free

Now I will admit that this one sounds risky. And if you were truly giving away a complete, end use product I’d have to conclude you have rocks in your head. This only works in a business with products that are introductory, and the use of them relies on an ongoing supply of proprietary material that you can jack the hell out of the price on.  Some franchises and most printers come to mind as examples of how to use this technique for best results. Buy the printer for $89, but replacement ink cartridges , which have the half life of stolen hot dog in a mongrel’s mouth, are $49 apiece or two for $99. Drug suppliers (over and under the counter) have also used this method in conjunction with No. 2 for years. 

 

6. Buy Them All Up Yourself

This one is tricky, and shouldn’t be attempted on something that is fairly common or that a lot of people have access to, it can back-fire. That’s what happened to the Hunt bros of Texas when they tried to corner the silver market, but instead ended up losing some of their personal fortune, and had their bank accounts lightened by the SEC. Much more successful was DeBeers in the diamond business, until the meddlesome Russians and Canadians had to go and find higher quality diamonds (coloured no less) that brought the price sharply down once it wasn’t possible for DeBeers to buy all that was produced.

 

7. Get A Government Bailout

If all else fails, this is the way to go. In fact, it is so foolproof you may want to forgo the use of any of the other business techniques and go straight to this one as soon as possible. Works best when you are a large company with many employees and a slipshod management style that doesn’t promote efficiencies. High profile works well too, especially when you are widely considered the only game in town and without you the whole local economy will collapse. Soon the funds will be pouring in even as you outsource most of your shell company’s production.

 

Okay, you got me. While these are business tips that will never be printed, they are also just a spoof on some rather unusual tactics that have ‘worked’ for some businesses at some point in time. Any reference to existing businesses is strictly coincidental and all characters are fictional and the subject of the author’s vivid and random imagination. Hope they made you smile a little.

Till Next Time….

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Sigrid McNab

Skype: sigrid.mcnab

Email: sigridmcnab@gmail.com

 

Work with Me- UsanaHealthSciences

 

Image(s): FreeDigitalPhotos.net

 

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About Sigrid McNab

Sigrid McNab is the author of #1 Amazon Best Seller, speaker and the CEO and Founder of sigridmcnab.com. Sigrid specializes in blogging, attraction marketing, and generating highly qualified leads. Sigrid teaches people how to build a successful online business.

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