Are You Listening-It Makes A Difference

What Are You Listening To?

Licensed And Listening

Yesterday, we talked about there being three types of listening and how the first two work.

First, there is agreeing with, where you are nodding your head up and down and looking like you are actively listening when in fact your mind is in hyperdrive and although you are muttering yes, you really are focused on the afternoon’s golf game.

The second way of listening is called disagreeing, where you basically have determined that the person who is speaking clearly is out to lunch, and what planet are they on anyways?

listeningThe best illustration that I can think of for these two types of listening comes from the memorable British comedy series ‘Fawlty Towers’.  In it, John Cleese plays the role of Basil Fawlty, who along with his wife Sybil, owns an inn. Basil is renowned for his ability to hear as few of Sybil’s words as he can, or upon hearing what she has to say, muttering to himself under his breath, usually with a great deal of disdain.

In one episode, Sybil provides us with an example of listening in agreement when she is on the phone with her friend Audrey. She repeats, “I know, Audrey. Oh, I know,” over and over until Basil, who is overhearing the one end of the conversation, snaps and unleashes a typical cutting remark that sets off a new round of bickering. This comedy clearly shows how invaluable these two types of listening are (though it does provide the viewer with a great deal of entertainment).

The Third And Most Effective Way Of Listening

3. Being with

In order to ‘be with’, you have to still your own mind so that you can concentrate on what the other person is saying to you, without making the judgement on his/her words as to whether you agree or disagree. It means taking the time to just listen without other distractions or activities going on.

Have you ever tried to talk to someone who insists on carrying on with whatever they are doing while you are talking? Itmulti tasking is virtually impossible for them to be in a state of ‘being with’ listening if they are busy doing other tasks. That type of listening goes with the great fallacy of ‘multi-tasking’, which in reality, is nothing more than directing one’s attention to one task and then to another and then back and forth in microbursts.

When you try to listen to two conversations at the same time, or listen while you are completing other tasks, your mind is having to shuttle back and forth between the two activities. The result is that you are neither ‘being with’ the person who is talking, nor are you 100% present on the other activity you are doing. That’s the reason why cell phone use has been banned while driving in so many places.

Tomorrow we are going to look at specific examples of why using ‘being with’ listening is so powerful, and how to employ it to find out exactly what you need to know about your clients.

See you then!

Till Next Time

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Sigrid McNab

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About Sigrid McNab

Sigrid McNab is the author of #1 Amazon Best Seller, speaker and the CEO and Founder of Sigrid specializes in blogging, attraction marketing, and generating highly qualified leads. Sigrid teaches people how to build a successful online business.

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